Eat Your Heart Out, Sandra Rinomato

Well, something kinda big happened this morning.  Husbo and I met with a realtor this morning to put in an offer on a house.  That's right...the Troutmen are one step closer to becoming full blown, mortgage paying adults.  Here's the beauty that won over our hearts...

She's in downtown Raleigh and a few short miles from our office and church.

I'm not going to give you much more info than that b/c I don't want any of you getting any bright ideas and trying to buy it out from underneath of us.  (I'm just trying to spare you a swift punch in the face.)

Obviously being first time home buyers, we were very green when it came to this whole process.  Everything we know has come from...where else?  HGTV.  Specifically, from this broad...

Sandra Rinomato

She uses all the lingo.  "Closing costs. Property value. Price point. Unrealistic."  We've probably seen 20+ episodes of her helping folks get their first house.  Well let's just say...the process is not as sexy as this Canadian makes it out to be.

First of all, have you ever noticed that they're always striking these deals in fancy coffee shops, sipping on lattes and eating biscotti?  Even when they're getting phone calls about counter offers, the anxious buyers are never sans-mochachino.  So I walked my butt across the street this morning and got myself a Caramel Brulee Latte. Husbo went the classy route and got that enormous energy coffee drink they sell in a can.  Mmmm...coffee with a hint of aluminum.   Despite our efforts to start things off on the right foot, here's reality:

Is the excitement translating here?  

We actually were really excited but our sweet and lovely realtor is up in North Raleigh and if you know anything about me...it's that I love my sleep.  And we were there early. Thus the beauty you are beholding.

Then it came time to figure out our offer.  We'd had plenty of discussions before today regarding what we thought was wise, and conferred with a number of trusted family...but the idea of forking over more money than you've ever imagined having in your life is a bit daunting.  On the other hand, some celebrities would laugh at such a puny number and would make it rain with our entire mortgage at a club in Vegas.  But it's all about perspective, and from where we were sitting...it's a lot of money.  

Then we dug down into the details.  "Who should pay closing?  What type of warranty should be asked for?  Do you want them to include the refrigerator?"  Husbo perked up at the idea of bartering.  At one point, when Susan (the realtor) left the room, the following conversation ensued:

Husbo: "We should offer them a giant wheel of cheese to sweeten the deal."

Me: "I'm sorry, what?"

H: "Everything I've ever learned from bartering came from Oregon Trail.  Food was like gold."

Me: "Are we also to assume that (the seller) has dysentery?"

H: "We should probably throw in a couple boxes of crackers, too."

Sidenote: They sell a giant wheel of cheese (we're talking the size of a car tire) at Harris Teeter and every time we grocery shop I ask when I'm going to see that baby wrapped up with a bow.  Due to it's $300 selling price, the response is usually not favorable.

We then had a back and forth about how many goats we'd need to offer to make an impact.  Sandra would have been proud.  Our non-Canadian realtor returned to the room and presented us with 400 papers to sign and initial.  400 may be a stretch but let's just say my hand was cramping after all that Herbie Hancock work.  You never see all of THAT crap on the show, do you?  I'll tell you...house hunting and the consequent buying is not all fun, games and sassy hats from the mid 90's. 

So now, we're waiting to hear back from the seller.  The experience has actually been a lot of fun so far but the waiting is trying my impatient heart.  And even though we feel sure he'll counter offer, we're not too worried.  We've got a giant wheel of cheese in our metaphorical back pocket.